Weekly Baking: a summer berry tart with good intentions

I try to bake something every week. I don't always achieve it. There are after-school snacks to take care of, the occasional pudding, and those empty-tummy moments that seem to accompany my life working from home. I've been trying to bake more healthily, with Ella's book, the Hemsley sisters and Sarah's lovely book. Yes there have been the ubiquitous date balls, raw food brownies, and oat-banana cookies in my kitchen, just as you've seen all over the blogosphere. 

And then this last weekend, I just needed a good old-fashioned fat & sugar blow-out.

Nigella to the rescue!

This is Nigella's No Fuss Fruit Tart. Brownie point one (pardon the pun): it was so easy to make. Brownie point two: no unusual ingredients. Brownie point three: no oven involved. Brownie point four: it's absolutely delicious. And those berries: just look at those rich red to blue hues. You can't help but want slice after slice.

The down side is that I couldn't in good conscience give such a sugar/fat-fest to my young children twice a day. And my husband and eldest son are both on a pudding-free health kick (which means one slim slice only). And my very youngest Tiny One, who is the lone picky eater in a family of adventurous eaters (I can't even begin to tell you how draining it can be), didn't like it.

Conclusion: make it for a dinner party, or a big family gathering, or friends for a barbecue. It's so easy, everyone will have a slice, and pretty much everyone will love it. 

Don't make it like I did, just for your family who mostly won't eat it. Otherwise you might end up eating about three-quarters of it all to yourself a week before going on holiday when you're supposed to be being good (swimming costume shame, blah blah).

Consider my wrists slapped. I'm back to the raw health food. Once I've polished off the last slice that is.

The 2015 Summer List

I feel like I can finally say, without jinxing it (though you know it really will be jinxed now I've said that)... summer's here! But what to do this summer? My list of activities for the boys' six-seven weeks at home is coming up in July, but here's my list of things that I want to accomplish, for me and the family. You know me, it's going to have nine things in it...

1. Get outdoors every day. Once the school holidays kick in it can be tempting to stay in with the Lego on a miserable day, but my boys are like sheepdogs - they need to get out. They need to work off some energy, they need a change of scene, they need inspiration and adventure. And I also need the inhalation of simplicity, appreciation and good old fresh air.
2. Visit more National Trust properties. Once a week - yes really - once the holidays kick in, and occasionally on weekends before then. We do go often but we went to Tatton Park last weekend (post to follow) and it cured all ailments, at least for a while.
3. Sew more for me. With the job I have (curtain & blind making), if I'm not sewing for someone else I'm not sewing at all. I've got to shift some of my plans from the 'to do' to the 'done' list.
4. Watch less telly. It's beautiful outside, there are books inside, conversation to be had... to be honest, I would've gladly done this a long time ago but my husband needs television to manually switch him from 'work' to 'relaxed' mode. I need to tell him that I don't.
5. Bring more of the outdoors indoors. Fill every vase at least once. It finishes a room, and it elevates my mood. It's better for the environment and my bank balance if I don't go and buy the ubiquitous cellophane-wrapped store flowers.
6. Keep spending less. Every little helps (no, I'm not referring to the supermarket). Not that we spend much anyway but we're trying hard to be even thriftier at the moment. I'll be making more ice creams at home, looking for free outdoor adventures, cutting off my jeans rather than buying shorts.
7. Bake more. We've been on a healthy eating kick recently and, with all the Easter chocolate still around, there's been no reason to bake. But there are healthy cakes out there these days (it's no longer an oxymoron) and the baking element of this blog's subtitle has been sorely lacking.
8. Make a little cot quilt for my first ever niece or nephew. She or he will be a summer baby and will have to get used to an auntie showering it in sewn gifts!
9. Fix myself. The rubbish anxiety condition that the PTSD left me with four years ago has been niggling a bit recently. I can usually go four-six months absolutely fine before a few days or weeks of a dip. But recently, though much less severe, it's been kicking in every few weeks and to be honest I'm fed up of it. It isn't me and it stops me from living the life I want and need to live.

Saturday baking: pumpkin (or butternut squash), parmesan and olive bread

It's drizzly outside, the leaves are on the turn and autumn's settling in. Shall we do some weekend baking? Do you fancy some Pumpkin/Butternut Squash Bread?

There are only so many bog standard cheese/ham/bread lunches a family can take. We reached our limit a month or two ago. I've been trying to mix it up on our weekend lunches, bringing a bit more creativity to the table to make the weekend lunch - that lovely, languid thing - a little more special.

Today I made Pumpkin, Parmesan and Olive Bread. It takes about 10-15 minutes prep, 45 minutes in the oven, and a few minutes resting - the perfect ratio of low time/effort to high impact/taste.

I ate mine plain and buttered, still steaming warm, and it was lovely. The lovely husband adorned his with cheese and chutney. I'd have thought a bit of ham would be nice too. I added the olives at the end, folding them into one end of the loaf, leaving the other end olive-free to suit the younger boys. And they asked for seconds.Would you like the recipe? It's from our Abel & Cole cookbook, page 121. 

Pre-heat your oven to 190oC/375oF/gas 5. The whole recipe uses a mug to measure - just pick out a standard-size mug from your collection and stick to the same mug all through.

Mix 1 1/3 mugs of self-raising flour in a large bowl with a pinch of sea salt, 1 mug of grated raw butternut squash or pumpkin, 1/2 mug of roughly grated parmesan (or a cheaper alternative - I used Grana Padano), a handful of chopped black olives and 1 tbsp chopped rosemary.

Once your dry ingredients are combined, whisk 2 large eggs with 1 tbsp milk in your vacated mug then add to your mixture and mix until you've got a sticky ball (I used my hands - fun, quick, but messy.)

Drop your ball of dough onto a greased baking tray, form into a patty, and sprinkle a little extra flour and grated parmesan on top. Bake on the middle shelf of your oven for 45-50 mins. When done, the bottom of the loaf will make a hollow sound when you tap it. Let it cool a little for 10 mins before serving. But, trust me, it's best served warm.

This loaf will feed four as part of a lunch spread, or two greedy people (ah-hem) with a bit of butter and cheese. Leftovers are delicious toasted, as the butternut squash caramelises slightly in the heat.

Wishing you and yours a lovely, restful weekend.

Baking: a toffee apple cake for my three-year old

Happy Birthday Tiny One! He turned three. It feels like he's on an express train to grown-up some days.

He asked for an apple cake for his birthday. He also asked for a lion cake for his lion birthday party. I won't show you the lion cake. It was atrocious. I mean, he was happy, and it tasted really good, but it was the ugliest cake I've ever made for a birthday. And considering that I have three boys, 15, 4 and 3, that's a lot of birthday cakes it comes behind.

But the apple cake a few days later was a winner. I looked at quite a few recipes, but apple cakes are quite teatime-ish and not so very birthday-ish, aren't they? Then I stumbled on the Apple Cake with Toffee Topping in Tessa Kiros' Falling Cloudberries. It's a lovely plain cake sat atop melded apple slices and topped with toffee sauce, both of which take it most definitely into the birthday category. We are still enjoying it! It's lovely with a cuppa mid morning (who, me?!). You can find the recipe if you 'look inside' on amazon, p.269, but I'll give it to you here too, in my own words, as the Amazon version is in US measurements...

Tessa Kiros' Apple Cake with Toffee Topping

For the cake, you'll need: 3 apples, 100g softened butter, 200g caster sugar, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 3 eggs, 200g plain flour, 2 tsps baking powder, 60ml milk.

And for the topping: 20g butter, 115g caster sugar, 125ml single cream.

Preheat the oven to 190oC and grease and flour a 24cm springform tin. Peel the apples, and cut each into 12 pieces, removing the core. Arrange the slices in the tin (they fit in two tightly packed concentric circles).

With an electric beater or whisk, cream your butter, sugar and vanilla until pale and creamy. Then add the eggs one by one, beating well each time. Sift and beat in the flour and baking powder, followed by the milk. Plop the smooth, fluffy batter onto the apple slices, smoothing the top. Then bake for 35-45mins until a skewer comes out clean (I use wooden skewers or a piece of dry spaghetti). Remove from the oven to a cooling rack, but keep it in its tin.

Time for the toffee: cook the butter and sugar in a small pan for 3-4mins until the sugar melts and turns a light caramel. Add the cream very slowly at first. Lower the heat and simmer for another minute. If your caramel solidifies in the middle of creamy sea (yes, that was mine), just heat slowly and use a sauce whisk. To start with the caramel will stick to it but be patient - eventually you'll be lump-free and caramel-coloured!

Run a palette knife around your cake sides then add the toffee sauce. Leave to cool before removing the side of the tin. Ice-cream or cream would be lovely with it, but we had neither and loved it still. It keeps well in the fridge - we're on day 3, it's still yummy and there's still 1/4 left. Not for long!

Baking: A bowl of joy

Sometimes it's the simple things that are the best. The two littlest and I made rice krispie cakes, minus the butter, and using dark chocolate. We made a half-batch - just seven - for their dairy-intolerant friend. They all loved them. Loved them. But I think possibly, even more, my two loved scraping the bowl. This was all that was left after the Little One had set to work. He's a methodical little chap.

 

It set me thinking about our childhoods and the things we pass on; the things we remember. As parents we worry about the things we can't give our children because of the money or the time we don't have. But we forget that the things that imprint upon them enough to stay through their years on this earth, and then pass on to their own children are the simple things. Often these things are free, or near enough. Often these things are about the connection they have with us or a moment. You don't remember all the expensive details of a holiday you had when very young. You remember playing chase with the waves in the sea. You remember the hours of fun making castles out of random Lego bricks with your brothers rather than the fancy presents you loved and left.

 

I have made far more interesting, challenging things than rice krispie cakes, but I've made them alone or with much admonishment: "don't touch! wait! okay, one stir -just one - then it's my turn". They'll remember scraping this rice krispie bowl far better. They'll remember the fistfuls of puffed rice sent into the bowl until the scales were right. They'll remember the scattering of rice that missed. Watching intently as the chocolate melted into the butter. They flop of chocolate mess into paper cases. The crunch of matt-sheen chocolate boulders after they had been refrigerated rigid. The laughter at chocolate stains on their faces. The dash to the sink. The quietly proud gift of a left-over cake to their oldest brother.

 

We scraped every last bit of joy from that bowl.

Wondering: a little update, in the moment

There's beauty outside in a spring that unfurled late and is hanging around. Daffodils when they've usually left us. The quiet earth, parched but cold for so long, suddenly verdant with grasses and new growth now that the rain has been coming. Some days it's a sprinkling here and there, other days fine and sideways but constant. Either way, we had about four or five days of sunshine and warmth over a week ago and that was it. Early spring weather, so ironically late to start, has just stuck, the clouds above viciously cycling and no sign of that mid- to late-spring warmth we'd have expected.

 

Some days I say I'm fed up with it, but today I'm trying to roll with its punches. Summer, which should be just a fortnight off, is something we can barely remember let alone expect. I suspect this year may end up being another damp squib, as the Gulf Stream - source of all our old glorious summers - slows down and drifts away from our shores. I find myself thinking of my Geography degree all the time now, and the uncanny truth that global warming will actually cool our country down. I still believe in fairy tales, and the story of hot summers to come, but we all have to grow up sometime.

 

Speaking of growing up, the Tiny One is talking like he was a year older than two, and we're all so lucky to experience his personality, his opinions and his quirks as a result of it. He is such a big boy in a small boy's body, and follows his older brother around all the time, echoing his sentences, hoping for his attention, laughing at his jokes. The Little One is nearly four. Serious, strong of opinion, fragile of emotion at times, and yet with such a fun and funny side. He rides, balances and plays like a child several years older, and I know that as soon as he's old enough to join in our village's cricket and football activities, he'll be flying. Despite his activity and physical prowess, he's also a wonderful concentrator, meticulous and imaginative in his play, advanced in his questioning, keen on his pattern finding, logical in his thinking.

 

The Big One, oh my. An early GCSE, girlfriends, hill walks with friends, Warhammer championships... he is such an independent spirit, in some ways so mature for his age, in others still so adolescent. This year has been easier than the last, as his body and mind become more accustomed to the testosterone of late childhood; as he walks more comfortably in the footsteps of a man. Sometimes I feel that he's so independent, he's almost and not quite my boy any more. I often view him as another adult (yet a surly one) in the house, and grasp tightly to those moments when he still needs me or shares some of himself. It's a funny thing, this growing up. When you think of it with your toddlers, you don't realise that as they reach their teenage years it's not so much growing up as growing away. It's an education for both of us, and while it's a little sad, it's also lovely to see glimpses of the man he will become.

 

My lovely husband is still working hard, but despairing of the cuts, bureaucracy and nonsensical decisions in his work, and dreaming of better times. He walks up hills alone most weeks, and we've come to a fair arrangement whereby his half day of walking while I 'babysit' is matched by a half day of sewing for me. Though, as you can imagine, my half day always gets curtailed one way or another! I love him but miss him. It's hard living with a man working shifts, small children taking all your time, and constant DIY and errands to do on days off. We try our hardest to get family time and couple time every week, and are still dreaming of a future when the whole family can head up a hill together, once all our legs are strong enough (and hoping we all have the passion for it).

 

I am sewing more at the moment, and my heart and soul are steadied, settled and smitten by it. My brother's quilt is finished, I've made and gifted a lovely drawstring bag, and I have two more and a cushion cover on the go. It's still often a difficult and frustrating balance between the sewing, all my responsibilities and everyone else's needs, but while things are flowing a bit better I'm going with it. I'll be showing you some of the sewing very soon.

 

I'm baking once a week; the craving to eat sugar versus the craving to bake seems to have lead to this sort of regular irregularity. I'm also making almost all our bread in the bread maker, and have been doing so since November. It's a lovely habit to have gotten into, and satisfying in every sense of the word. I'll be sharing some of my loaves here soon too.

 

The Little One is at nursery and the Tiny One is playing by my feet, little men and vehicles engaged in important work, and lots of talk of spiders. My lovely husband has just returned from his walk (he worked at the weekend, and is now on two days off - this walk earns me my sewing tomorrow!). There's a shoulder of lamb slow cooking in the oven, very gently softening til dinner time, and I've got a loaf of seeded bread due to get started in the breadmaker, a pea and lettuce soup awaiting cooking for lunch, and some peppers to blacken then skin. The sun is out, though rain is threatening, and I'm debating whether to plead for a few hours of family gardening after lunch (the lovely husband needs some heavy persuasion to garden, despite an alleged interest in it), ditch the gardening idea and go through a walk through our local gorge, or force myself to take the boys swimming before the Big One needs collecting from astronomy after school.

 

You may notice that none of those activities involve me sitting here, writing on the computer, and so I say goodbye and thank you for reading!

 

 

Baking: fire engine birthdays and Easter days

The Tiny One turned two! Not so tiny any more. He had a little party with his chums. I made Nigella's birthday biscuits from The Domestic Goddess, with a number two cutter and Smarties. You can never go wrong with Smarties.

I had a bit of a cake dilemma: the Tiny One asked for a fire engine, but I just wasn't comfortable with all the red food colouring that would entail for toddlers. I had a little brainwave and went with red fruit covering instead. You have to squint a bit to see it (!) but the cake above is a fire engine shape, coloured red with strawberry halves, peanut butter & jam biscuits for the wheels (another recipe from The Domestic Goddess), a breadstick ladder and blue candles for the fire engine lights. It was, to coin my Essex heritage, proper yum!

But the Tiny One wasn't content with just one cake, oh no. His party was nearly a week after his birthday so I asked him what cake he'd like for the day itself and he chose satsuma cake! Now, a) he's completely invented the idea and b) that's a pretty cool choice of a cake from a two-year-old who could have gone for something much less healthy and discerning. Luckily for me my elephantine memory for recipes (thank goodness my memory works for something) remembered Nigella's Christmassy clementine cake from How to Eat which involves boiling clementines for a ridiculous amount of time then pulverising them. Et voila! It was seriously good.

Here's the rest of the party fare, mid-party: number two biscuits (Nigella's How to be a Domestic Goddess, p.212), peanut butter & jam jewels (same book, p.221), peanut-butter squares (same book, p.223, and oh my goodness they were incredible), and the cake (buttermilk birthday cake, p.210). It all went on my sewing table. Now that's sacrifice for you.

We also made these Easter nest cakes (since we're in the baking zone). Last year I made a proper Easter cake which was fabulous but time-consuming. These no-bake Shredded Wheat and chocolate affairs were simple, moreish and still had the requisite Easter-wow factor. If you're a time-poor, aim-high mum (like me!), go for them. I'm definitely nest caking again next year. Want to know the recipe? Oh go on then (another Nigella Domestic Goddess affair - yes, I can get a bit cook-book obsessive). I've put the ingredients in bold...

Melt 200g milk chocolate and 25g dark chocolate with 25g unsalted butter. I did this in the microwave on low, you can use a bowl over a steaming pot of water if you want. Stir it then leave it for a moment to cool. Crumble 100g shredded wheat into another bowl then mix in the chocolate. Your children will love this bit (mine did). Take little handfuls and place them on a lined baking sheet in vague nest shapes. Nigella says to make them about 7cm in diameter but I went smaller so I felt less guilty about the little ones eating them (and me, let's be honest). She also says to add the approx 25 chocolate eggs once cooled but I added them at the point of making so that they'd stick. They then sat in the fridge for about an hour before we started gobbling. (Proper recipe can be found in Nigella's How to be a Domestic Goddess, p.231)

Baking: My mother-in-law likes chocolate

My mother-in-law likes chocolate. And it was her birthday. And I like baking (and chocolate). So the littler boys and I baked her a cake (the first recipe in the Chocolate Cake chapter of Nigella's Feast).

 

Looks nice? Tasted fabulous. We'll definitely be making that one again.

 

And in other news, I haven't blogged for a while because a) I'm crazy busy, b) I'm kind of knackered, not just physically but in terms of running out of inspiration or time or anything, and c) I need a bit of shaking up.

 

Shaking is going on now. My husband and I are concocting plans to make this family, this house, this life of ours run a little bit smoother and a little bit better.

Baking: butternut squash muffins & pantry re-stocking

Baking has been on my 'to do' list ever since Christmas, but other than the breadmaking (that's next week's post!) there hasn't been any baking going on. There's always so much chocolate hanging around after Christmas, not to mention the post-festive pounds, that baking always takes a back seat in January.

 

But I had a butternut squash sat in the banana basket (who knows why) and a Jamie Oliver butternut squash muffin recipe, so I thought: go for it!

Result? Lovely muffins. Very quick and easy to make (since the recipe calls for a processor). But I over-mixed them (blame the food processor's - well, my -inaugural muffin mixing) and they're a little more like cupcakes than muffins. The topping is lovely (sour cream, vanilla seeds and citrus) and almost sugar-less. But the muffins, let me tell you, are sugar-full. I figured I could call them healthy due to the squash but who am I kidding? It's not stopped us eating them though. Especially the two little boys. The Tiny One keeps spotting their container and shouting "cake! cake!" He takes after his mother, that one.

 

If you want to make them, go to Jamie Oliver's 'Jamie at Home' book, page 364, or check out the website here.

On the same morning, once I got into the non-meal-making-still-cooking groove, I also made bread, made soup for lunch and made a double batch of my grandfather's famous apple chutney. It goes fast in this house and is a lovely one to make so long as you have time for all that apple slicing and dicing. I'd give you the recipe but since Poppa's not around any more, I can't ask him for permission and he wasn't the sort of man you'd want to get on the wrong side of! Maybe I'll make you some one day.

Sunshine on a rainy day*

(* yes, you have to sing that)

Does that cheer you up a bit? Chatsworth in the summer. And that's the back of the Little One when he was a bit littler.

How about this? It's a Malteser birthday cake (Nigella, naturally, and found in 'Feast') that I made (again) for the Big One's fourteenth. Yes, fourteenth. I feel ancient.

 

Or this? Pumpkin pie for Halloween. It was a Hummingbird Bakery recipe that I slightly over-did with the cloves. But it was universally loved.

 

It's been rainy both actually and metaphorically. Really, really hard. One of those days when you never catch up with the version of yourself that's getting it all right. When you get to the end of the day and feel like, although you've hardly stopped all day, your list of things you wanted to get done still lies unaccomplished.

 

I have so much to do. And blogging isn't on the list so goodbye friends! Let's hope tomorrow's better.

 

 

Catching up

There's about a month missing isn't there? I thought I'd write a quick post to show you (to coin a phrase) a few things I made earlier...

I made a mobile. Gosh it took a long time. But I'm happy with how it turned out. My favourite bit is the felt circles. You've got to love a bit of felt.

I want to make something similar for my boys but you know what it's like - there's never the time to make things for your own family and home. I'll add it to the 'one day' list!

The Little One had a party. Builder-inspired - he's nothing if not consistent, that one. So I made him a builder's cake (chocolate on the outside, yellow on the inside as specified) using Nigella's custard birthday cake recipe.

I also made some snack-time cheese biscuits in the shape of crane hooks (hooks are a big thing round here lately), a long rocky road for the builders to drive on (a big success; broken up for the 'grown ups' to eat), builder biscuits and rice krispie chocolate boulders. It was a morning-only party as the village Jubilee street party picnic was calling on us all at lunchtime. I wish the Jubilee happened every year - it's a lot less stressful having a shorter party with no meal to provide!

I have more to show you, but that's for another time!

Birthday lemon cake anyone?

So it was the lovely husband's birthday. He loves lemon meringue pie, so naturally I made Nigella's lemon meringue cake from Feast. Except I was being a fancy pants so I made the lemon curd too.

Oh gosh. This is one you have to make. Go look at the one on Nigella's site, it's much prettier than mine. It tastes so good and unfortunately is lovely and light, which means you can't avoid having a second slice. Even worse, it looks like a faff (a sponge topped with a meringue, times two) but it is much easier to make than you'd imagine. Obviously, it's no Victoria sponge. But it's doable, even with homemade lemon curd (based on the passion-fruit curd on the next page in Feast - enough for a jar of leftovers, hoorah!).

Advice? If you make it, tightly clingfilm it to the plate and whack back in the fridge once you're done eating the first time. Otherwise, with all that cream and curd filling the cake, you'll watch the top very slowly sliding off. Luckily we caught ours in time! Fridge cold, it's not at such a risk as the filling is so much more solid. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Happy birthday lovely husband. Thanks for the photos! Now I'm off to eat homemade lemon curd on toast for breakfast.

And an echo from Easter

Has it been and gone already? Easter was over in a flash. I had so many ideas that stayed in my mind's eye and made it no further. Decided not to beat myself up over it - no one knew, no one minded. Rather than let them disappear, I have postponed. This Easter was a little underwhelming, but sort of lovely in its simplicity and ease.

This year...

• Friends visited. Lovely, old friends. We caught up, shared surprise at rapidly ageing children, and dished out Easter eggs.
• I made an Easter cake - Nigella's Easter Egg Cake from 'Feast' (sorry, can't find an online link). My boys and my friend's boys planted the eggs in it. It was good. But rich. Too rich really - will probably make a more child-friendly chocolate offering next year.
• I made bread. Somehow it seemed Easterly appropriate. Something about the yeast I imagine.
• We bought the children Easter gifts rather than chocolate. They get enough from elsewhere. The gifts came in egg packaging - how cool are these?!

Next year...

• I'll make the felt bunnies and chicks that I bought felt for (it's still sat there staring at me), and garland some too.
• There will be egg decorating, and French toasting with the blow-out.
• I bought the ingredients to make my own hot cross buns this year (made them last year - worth it for the annual smug joy). Made none! Next year then.
• And there will be more Easter eating. The boys will be the right age for nest cakes. And those cheap (boom, boom) fluffy chicks on everything.
• I didn't get round to the Easter tree this year (it must be two years since I made one) - it required a walk with secateurs to find good shaped/sized budded twigs (but it kept raining). And me digging out the little pastel-coloured wooden eggs (but I know the Little One can't leave them alone). Next year!

I quite like this 'if I don't do it now, I'll do it someday' vibe.

Loafing around

We made bread, the Little One and I. Let's see how many boxes this loaf can tick...

• It's quick and easy - we made it in less than half an hour, and that's with a two-year-old 'helping'. Then of course there's oven time, but that's not too long either. (The recipe's name gives a clue: 45-Minute Pumpkin & Parmesan Bread)
• A two-year-old can help!
• No scales - just mug sizes.
• It's filled with enough to make you feel that a) you can get away without too many toppings if needed - I ate it warm with butter, and b) you're covering lots of dietary requirements in one. Parmesan, olives, rosemary, squash - dairy and some of your 5 a day.
• I moved a little left from pumpkin and used butternut squash. Heaven.
• Which brings me to the most important point: it is really delicious. Really.
• And if you're into bread making but need a short-cut, take this one: no kneading, no proving, just mix, shape and bake.
• And if you're into impressing people, everyone thinks you're clever if you serve homemade bread. You know you're not, but you don't have to tell.
• Want to make? Find the recipe in the Abel & Cole recipe book p.121. Sorry I can't find it online, but let me know if you want me to write it up here.
• PS Photo courtesy of the lovely husband. Thank you my dear!

A list for 2012

I am a little list-obsessed. Having written one for what I'd achieved (or otherwise) in 2011, I feel I ought to set myself a bit of a plan for 2012. You could call these plans resolutions, but they're a little less stern than that. Intentions, maybe?

• Family - They are always top of my list. And though there are eight other items below this one, I will try to remember not to resent the time I spend giving to my family when I may have had hopes to be working on one of my other 'intentions'. My husband is my rock, my heart and my home. I am still giddy about him, eight years in; and so I hope to still have butterflies this year. My boys are my joys and, as we struggle through adolescence, potty training and emerging willfulness with each in turn, I hope to keep counting my biggest blessings, one, two, three. Last but no means least, my parents and brothers. Absence has made the heart so much fonder. They have given so much to me, and I hope to rebalance the scales in 2012.
• Writing - My soul is type-written. 2011 brought me back to it, and I hope to take it for a long walk in 2012. I'd like it to be read more, for my voice is not mute. Hence the blogging. Will I write anything else than the blog this year? I hope so, but I'd like to let that idea jiggle around in my mind for a while before I set any specific goals.
• Sewing - I was in the flush of new love in 2011. In 2012 I'd like to build a long-term relationship with my sewing machine. Sew, sew, sew more. Sew gifts. Sew for others. Sew for me. Sew for the house. Sew quilts for the boys. Sew to sell. Learn, learn, learn more. By the end of the year, I'd like to have had my own stall and opened an etsy or folksy store. We can but dream.
• Cooking - Well I've always loved this, but I want to make more myself (especially since the revelation of processor-made pastry) and more for the littlest boys. And I'd love to delegate the stove to the Big One one night a week, since he shows the kernel of such enthusiasm. But I have yet to ask him!
• Baking - The problem with cake-making is it lead to cake-eating! So I hope to bake more for others to eat, and bake more savoury goods (I have dreams of a breadmaker, since my tiny hands and wrists are too wimpish for regular kneading). And gosh darn it, I will get my piping bag out of its packaging and decorate a cupcake before the year is out!
• Making - Keep making my cards, and actually get good at it! If I could make them on time, well that'd really be something. Make more decorations to mark the seasons, celebrations and patterns of the year. And of course I'll be making my gifts, but that's covered under 'sewing'.
• Nesting - This house, just over a year in, needs some window-dressing! It was home from the moment we first turned the keys in the door. The painting can wait (no time). The rotting window frames can wait (no money). But the odd cushion, quilt or curtain will, I hope, have the same effect as a blush of red lipstick on an un-made-up face.
• Nature - Get my footprints in more mud, paths and trails. Get my head in more wind, sky and weather. Convince the Little One to walk in the rain! Bring the outside inside more - my vases look embarrassingly naked too much of the time.
• Nurture - I will nurture my family (see first point!). I need to nurture my friends more. There has to be time to pick up the phone. My close friends are like sisters to me now, and, surrounded by boys as I am, I need more of their oestrogen in 2012. And to nurture myself? Is there time?! If there ever is, I hope to use it wisely. And to read a book, what luxury!

I hope we all make it to the end of 2012, and that I can look back and above all else find I was happy and I made others happy. And if I've found my vocation (sewing? writing?) and found a way to make a living from it, then so much the better.

The ghost of Christmas past

I thought you'd like to see what we ate over Christmas! Well, to be fair, I'm sure very few people would be interested in what we ate, but I got my amateur photographer husband to photograph it so I'm going to bore you all with it anyway. Ho ho ho.

Breakfast muffins! They were an optional extra, depending on whether I had time to knock them up. I woke up at 6am too excited to go back to sleep, but my husband wouldn't let me wake the boys up. They woke at 7.30. Breakfast muffins made! They were flavoured with cranberries & clementines and were delicious. We also had a late-morning brunch of home-made American pancakes with scrambled egg, bacon and maple syrup but we ate them too quickly to catch on camera!

The big meal... clockwise from top: roast potatoes; maple roast parsnips; spiced & super-juicy turkey (having relaxed in its bath for 24hrs); sprouts with pancetta, parsley & chestnuts; chestnut stuffing (made the day before, minus the egg); cranberry sauce (made two days before and still deliciously giving by new year's); pigs in blankets. And there's allspice turkey giblet gravy on top. I made everything from scratch, and even allowed myself a bit of smugness! It was many, many times yum. I expected to get stressed but instead I found the whole thing - from turkey bathing to plating up - such fun. But then I was only catering for three adults and 2.5 children. If we'd had my side of the family here instead of my husband's it would have been seven adults (three of whom have huge appetites), 2.5 children and a mutt. Maybe next year!

We finished with this: a home-made chocolate log. Swiss rolls are supposed to be a nightmare to roll up but mine was fine - did I do something wrong? I often think recipes that are supposed to be difficult often aren't if you don't know about it beforehand. It's the confidence of the ignorant. I have been similarly ignorant about whisking egg whites and making risottos. Yet I can't make Bird's custard without it going lumpy or staying runny. Oh the peculiarities of the kitchen.

And this was Boxing Day, for those who care to know. The Fully Festive Ham from Nigella's Feast, which we ate with more roasts, peas and red cabbage cooked in pomegranate (Nigella again). We then ate mince pies and too many cranberry, pecan and white chocolate cookies. The day after, I made a ham and turkey pie from the leftovers of both meals and froze enough for at least three more pies in January. This Christmas ghost just keeps on giving.

1 day til Christmas

Christmas Eve!!...

Here was the table for a lovely lunch with soup, salad, cheeses and some seasonal fare. Yes, that is a full wine glass you spotted. Having spent three years either pregnant or breastfeeding, we decided to enjoy my first Christmas of neither!

And here was the turkey in its aromatic bath (Nigella's Spiced & Superjuicy Turkey), where it wallowed for 24hours (and yes, it was worth it). And the last of the Christmas sewing ready for gifting away.

And here is the Christmas window at the front of our house: birds, pears, and homemade decorations in a nudge towards 'My True Love Gave to Me'. It went up a week ago but I did say I'd show it to you.

And of course there was more Christmas baking from Nigella's bible... here are the lovely geometric lines of her cranberry, pecan and white chocolate cookies that were baked on Christmas eve, a few gifted later that day, and the rest kept for Boxing Day pudding. Oh. My. Goodness. Too delicious to only make at Christmas: I think they'll have another outing soon. And we ate Jamie's fish pie with hard-boiled eggs hidden within like the coins in a Christmas pudding (which I didn't make this year - only I like it). It was the perfect fishy Christmas Eve supper.

And before I go, here are the Little One's glittery decorations, made with a kind friend, and now adorning our back door. He has embellished his decoration corner considerably. With the help of a ladder (one of his favourite things) he's sellotaped all manner of bits of plastic, bubble wrap, and even hangers to the door. He is yet to discover the true meaning of decorations but, despite all my hard work at tastefully decorating the house, this little corner is my favourite spot of all.

2 days til Christmas

More chutney was made. This time mostly by the Big One, and it was Nigella's Christmas Chutney to be gifted as Christmas presents. I was told I had to help, and that one of the jars would be his present to me. Somehow that doesn't seem quite right! But I like chutney making, so I went with it.

The Cranberry Sauce (another Nigella Christmas recipe - we are having a Nigella Christmas) was made. How easy, how much, how yum! And it sang Jingle Bells to me in a Scandinavian accent, since it perfectly hit my red-and-white Christmas notes.

I made Nigella's Sticky Gingerbread Cake. It was a) huge; b) impressive; and c) delicious. And I can tell you, after the fact, that it improved with age. Despite being a gingerbread cake, I earned major brownie points with it. And my mother-in-law, the daughter of professional bakers, said my Christmas baking was worthy of her parents. Which made me prouder than a peacock.

There has also been a lot of last-minute Christmas sewing going on, but I can't show it to you until the presents have all been given out. Oh how I do like the secrets of the season!

Joy

When I was not too well, cooking fell by the wayside. For a while, someone else did it. Then I did it, but the simplest of things - no recipes, just veg and something from the shop. Oh the joy of cooking again! It means so much to me: health, happiness, sustaining myself and my family. Above is cannelloni. Yum.

And you wouldn't believe the joy to be found in the folding of egg whites. Just look at them! Admittedly, a poor picture, but it was like folding clouds into honey. Though what it really was was American pancakes. With maple syrup or sweetcorn. Lapped up by the brood of boys.

A cake! Yes an actual cake. Big, big joy, though it was a small, small cake. A little Victoria sponge. But it was yum scrum and may as well have been decorated with the words 'You're back!' By the way, that's my new Polish pottery butter dish in the back. Thank you mum.

Now we start getting a little show-offy... meringues. The best I had ever made. Unrefined caster sugar for the caramel, nutty chewiness it provides. The perfect cracks a-top. And, for once, no sticking to the the baking paper! Do you like my jug in the background too? I have something veering on a jug obsession.

Last but by no means least, chicken stock for the soul. You know you're kitchen is powered up and singing again when the chicken carcasses make their ritual movements from meat-picking to freezer, then into pan, cooked down into stock, into the fridge (satisfying layer of fat; glutinous demi-jelly wobble if you're lucky), into containers and back into the freezer again before becoming soup, risotto, or something equally satisfying. The picture above (yet again, with cheap Ikea bowl - oh for a lovely ceramic one) shows it glistening with tinkling rolls of steam as it cools, surface rippling like gelatine. Chicken stock may be thrifty and basic, but it feeds the soul as well as the stomach. Joy.